Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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