my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
