Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
