so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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