i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
