Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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