And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
