i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
