Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
