Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
