so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
