Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
