i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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