PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
