When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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