so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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