Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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