i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My bed smells like the plague
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
