Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
