i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
