No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
