In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
