His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize