OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
