i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Mom said you looked used
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
