No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
