I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
