Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
