you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
