walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
