i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
