You're my little dorito
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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