lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
