I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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