Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
