i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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