Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
