Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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