as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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