PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
