Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Come share oat with me in your robe
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
