just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
