I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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