I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
