I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
