apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
