Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
