Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
