Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
