i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
