Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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